If for Any Reason Read online

  Praise for Novels by COURTNEY WALSH

  IF FOR ANY REASON

  “Warm and inviting, If for Any Reason is a delightful read. I fell in love with these characters and with my time in Nantucket. Don’t miss this one.”

  ROBIN LEE HATCHER, AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR OF WHO I AM WITH YOU

  “If for Any Reason took me and my romance-loving heart on a poignant journey of hurt, hope, and second chances. . . . From tender moments to family drama to plenty of sparks, this is a story to be savored. Plus, that Nantucket setting—I need to plan a trip pronto!”

  MELISSA TAGG, AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR OF NOW AND THEN AND ALWAYS

  JUST LET GO

  “Walsh’s charming narrative is an enjoyable blend of slice-of-life and small-town Americana that will please Christian readers looking for a sweet story of forgiveness.”

  PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

  “Original, romantic, and emotional. Walsh doesn’t just write the typical romance novel. . . . She makes you feel for all the characters, sometimes laughing and sometimes crying along with them.”

  ROMANTIC TIMES

  “A charming story about discovering joy amid life’s disappointments, Just Let Go is a delightful treat for Courtney Walsh’s growing audience.”

  RACHEL HAUCK, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR

  “Just Let Go matches a winsome heroine with an unlikely hero in a romantic tale where opposites attract. . . . This is a page-turning, charming story about learning when to love and when to let go.”

  DENISE HUNTER, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF HONEYSUCKLE DREAMS

  “Just the kind of story I love! Small town, hunky skier, a woman with a dream, and love that triumphs through hardship. A sweet story of reconciliation and romance by a talented writer.”

  SUSAN MAY WARREN, USA TODAY BESTSELLING AUTHOR

  JUST LOOK UP

  “[A] sweet, well-paced story. . . . Likable characters and the strong message of discovering what truly matters carry the story to a satisfying conclusion.”

  PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

  “Just Look Up by Courtney Walsh is a compelling and consistently entertaining romance novel by a master of the genre.”

  MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW

  “This novel features a deeply emotional journey, packaged in a sweet romance with a gentle faith thread that adds an organic richness to the story and its characters.”

  SERENA CHASE, USA TODAY HAPPY EVER AFTER BLOG

  “In this beautiful story of disillusionment turned to healing, Walsh brings about a true transformation of restored friendships and love.”

  CHRISTIAN MARKET MAGAZINE

  CHANGE OF HEART

  “Walsh has penned another endearing novel set in Loves Park, Colo. The emotions are occasionally raw but always truly real.”

  ROMANTIC TIMES

  “Change of Heart is a beautifully written, enlightening, and tragic story. . . . A must-read for lovers of contemporary romance.”

  RADIANT LIT

  PAPER HEARTS

  “Walsh pens a quaint, small-town love story . . . [with] enough plot twists to make this enjoyable to the end.”

  PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

  “Be prepared to be swept away by this delightful romance about healing the heart, forgiveness, [and] following your dreams.”

  FRESH FICTION

  “Courtney Walsh’s . . . stories have never failed to delight me, with characters who become friends and charming settings that beckon as if you’ve lived there all your life.”

  DEBORAH RANEY, AUTHOR OF THE CHICORY INN NOVELS SERIES

  “Delightfully romantic with a lovable cast of quirky characters, Paper Hearts will have readers smiling from ear to ear! Courtney Walsh has penned a winner!”

  KATIE GANSHERT, AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR OF A BROKEN KIND OF BEAUTIFUL

  “Paper Hearts is as much a treat as the delicious coffee the heroine serves in her bookshop. . . . A poignant, wry, sweet, and utterly charming read.”

  BECKY WADE, AUTHOR OF MEANT TO BE MINE

  ALSO BY COURTNEY WALSH

  JUST LOOK UP

  JUST LET GO

  PAPER HEARTS

  CHANGE OF HEART

  THINGS LEFT UNSAID

  HOMETOWN GIRL

  A SWEETHAVEN SUMMER

  A SWEETHAVEN HOMECOMING

  A SWEETHAVEN CHRISTMAS

  Visit Tyndale online at www.tyndale.com.

  Visit Courtney Walsh’s website at www.courtneywalshwrites.com.

  TYNDALE and Tyndale’s quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

  If for Any Reason

  Copyright © 2019 by Courtney Walsh. All rights reserved.

  Cover photograph of woman on beach copyright © Diane Durongpisitkul/Stocksy. All rights reserved.

  Cover and interior illustration of waves copyright © metelsky25/Adobe Stock. All rights reserved.

  Back cover photograph of boardwalk by Anton Sharov on Unsplash.com.

  Designed by Eva M. Winters

  Edited by Danika King

  Published in association with the literary agency of Natasha Kern Literary Agency, Inc., P.O. Box 1069, White Salmon, WA 98672.

  If for Any Reason is a work of fiction. Where real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locales appear, they are used fictitiously. All other elements of the novel are drawn from the author’s imagination.

  For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Tyndale House Publishers at [email protected] or call 1-800-323-9400.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Walsh, Courtney, date- author.

  Title: If for any reason / Courtney Walsh.

  Description: Carol Stream, Illinois : Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.,

  [2019]

  Identifiers: LCCN 2019023540 (print) | LCCN 2019023541 (ebook) |

  ISBN 9781496434395 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781496434401 (kindle edition) |

  ISBN 9781496434418 (epub) | ISBN 9781496434425 (epub)

  Subjects: LCSH: Life change events—Fiction. | GSAFD: Christian fiction. |

  Love stories.

  Classification: LCC PS3623.A4455 I3 2019 (print) | LCC PS3623.A4455 (ebook) |

  DDC 813/.6—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019023540

  LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019023541

  ISBN 978-1-4964-3441-8 (ePub); ISBN 978-1-4964-3440-1 (Kindle); ISBN 978-1-4964-3442-5 (Apple)

  Build: 2019-09-12 15:13:55 EPUB 3.0

  For my daughter, Sophia—

  one of the strongest people I know

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41 />
  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Preview of Just Let Go

  A Note from the Author

  Acknowledgments

  Discussion Questions

  About the Author

  PROLOGUE

  Dear Emily,

  As I write this, you are approximately six days, three hours, and thirty-two minutes old. We’ve been home from the hospital for four days, and I haven’t been able to stop looking at you the entire time. You sleep in a bassinet next to my bed, and I lie awake at night, listening to you breathe.

  To be honest, listening to you breathe is all I do. I feel like it’s my sole responsibility to make sure that continues. It’s a little scary, if I’m honest. And I’m always honest. You see, you came as a bit of a surprise to me, and I guess that’s why I’ve been so nervous lately, in the days leading up to your birth. Because I don’t want to mess anything up.

  I don’t want to mess you up.

  People always talk about how wonderful it is to have a baby, but no one ever talks about how terrifying it is too. You see, I’m a little bit terrified, and I’m not sure who else to tell. I’m pretty sure my mother would use that fear against me somehow, so I’ll only share it with you, my little girl.

  I’ll share it because I want you to know that sometimes we have to do things that are scary in order to get to something good. Sometimes the hardest things we’re faced with bring us the best results. It’s strange how that works, but it’s true.

  You’re probably wondering why I’m writing you a letter when I could just pick you up and tell you this in person.

  Well, I’ve always wondered about my own childhood. I remember once sitting on the floor of my friend Samantha’s bedroom, looking at her baby book. It was a scrapbook, I guess, and her mom had written all kinds of funny stories about Samantha from the time she was a baby and stuck them down next to photos of her at every stage of life. My mom isn’t the sentimental type, so I never had a book of stories. I don’t know what she was thinking about anything, and I wish I did. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so alone.

  I’m not the crafty type, so I decided letters were more the way to go. Lessons I’ve learned along the way and want to pass on to you. Love letters to my little girl. I’ll put them all together in a book and keep it for you. And if for any reason I can’t tell you these important lessons in person, you’ll still have my words, so you’ll never have to wonder what I would say.

  I won’t waste time on silly or frivolous lessons, only the ones that mean the most to me, so if this book falls into your hands, I hope you’ll give it the attention it deserves.

  I’m not a wise woman. Most people wouldn’t call me a woman at all, not yet anyway . . . but I’m learning so many things about myself, and bringing another person into the world has made me grow up fast. I want to be the best mom I can for you, Emily. It’s you and me against the world.

  And you know what? I’m terrified. But I’m going to do the very best job I can. I know I’ll make mistakes, but hopefully you’ll forgive me. I never knew how much love I had to give until I held you in my arms.

  And PS—I’ll do my best to keep Alan and Eliza off your back . . . mostly I’m guessing they’ll want to stay on mine!

  Love you so much,

  Mom (It’s so weird to write that!)

  CHAPTER 1

  EMILY ACKERMAN HUMMED WHEN SHE WAS NERVOUS. No particular song, just whatever melody popped into her head. At that moment, it was the Harry Connick Jr. version of “It Had to Be You,” the one in the old movie When Harry Met Sally. Her mom’s favorite.

  The bouncy melody danced around her mind as she closed her eyes and pretended she was anywhere but on the ferry from Hyannis to Nantucket. She made her living pretending, and she’d traveled the globe for the last ten years—why was this so hard?

  She leaned her head back, thinking only of the song—of Harry’s smooth, sultry voice—but instead of going blank, her mind wrapped itself around a memory. Her mother, dancing on “their” beach, singing “It Had to Be You” at the top of her lungs while Emily dug her feet in the cool sand and giggled at her silliness.

  Emily opened her eyes and found a little boy with dark hair and big brown eyes staring at her.

  “You’re loud,” he said.

  “Andrew, that’s not polite.” The boy’s mother wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer. “I’m so sorry. We’re working on manners.”

  Emily smiled at him. “Sorry. Sometimes I get lost in my own world.”

  “Me too,” Andrew said. “I have an imaginary friend named Kenton.”

  Emily widened her eyes. “I had an imaginary friend when I was little!” She tried to sound more excited than she felt. She was an actress. It wasn’t that hard.

  And yet, for some reason, it left her feeling hollow.

  “Mom says people will think I’m out of my mind if I keep talking to myself.”

  Andrew’s mother gave him a squeeze. “Andrew, let’s leave the nice lady alone.”

  Lady? Emily knew the other side of thirty was a downhill slope, but when people started calling you “lady,” you might as well sign up for AARP.

  “I’m Andrew,” the boy said. Then he looked at his mother and blinked. “See? That’s manners.” Then back to Emily. “Now you tell me your name.”

  “I’m Emily.”

  “Mom says I’m not supposed to call grown-ups by their first name.”

  “Oh.” Emily glanced at the boy’s mother, whose expression was a cross between amused and apologetic. “I guess you can call me Miss Ackerman.”

  “Miss Ackerman,” Andrew said. “Nice to meet you.”

  Emily decided she liked this boy. She hoped he didn’t lose his charm as he got older, and she hoped even more that he remained genuine. So many men she’d known were the exact opposite. Not a single one worth holding on to.

  Especially not Max, who, she was convinced, had never told her one honest thing the entire time they were together. Not that it mattered really. Emily’s rules were set up to protect her from getting too attached. She’d never stick around long enough to find out if a man’s motives were impure—three months and she was off. Max had taken their breakup harder than she’d expected. He’d actually cried.

  Ugh. The memory of it made her feel like such a jerk.

  Emily exhaled. She’d been doing so well. Why did she have to go and think about Max?

  The regret wound its way back in, and she could feel her cheeks flush at the memory of him. Maybe he’d actually loved her? Maybe she should’ve given him more of a chance?

  But no. She’d taken Mom’s advice to heart, as she did in all things, but especially about this. Her mother knew something about heartache, after all.

  Be passionate in other areas, but in matters of the heart, be mindful to use caution. Your heart isn’t something to give freely and without thought. It should be protected at all costs so you can ensure your whole world doesn’t come crashing down around you. Hear me on this, Emily. I know what I’m talking about.

  Without thinking, Emily slid her hand inside her bag until it found the soft, worn cover of the book of letters. In all her travels, it was the one thing she always made sure to keep close.

  While Emily didn’t know all the details, she knew that Isabelle Ackerman had suffered a great heartache. She only wished her mother had gotten a bit of closure before she died.

  The letters were unspecific about so many things, but this was not one of them. This was not an area where she had to wonder what her mom would say—Isabelle had found a way to get her message to her only daughter, and Emily had fully embraced it.

  She’d kept her heart safe. When someone got too close—and they did sometimes—she knew it was time to run. Also time to run when she could feel herself liking someone too much, which was what
had happened with Max. He was charming and handsome and wealthy, and Emily knew if she hadn’t been careful, she could’ve convinced herself he was worth a little rule breaking.

  Thank goodness she wised up before there was permanent damage to her heart.

  She had enough damage to deal with, and sadly, none of that could be blamed on Max or anyone else. It had been her own stupid mistakes that had landed her here—penniless and reeling. She hated the way this felt.

  An utter failure. That’s what she was.

  When she’d finished writing her play, she’d been so confident in it. She’d seen so much potential, and nothing could’ve dissuaded her—not even the rejections from several big-name directors who wanted nothing to do with the project. They’d left her no choice but to produce and direct it on her own.

  She should’ve listened. She should’ve started small. She didn’t. Instead, she sank everything she had into the show.

  She’d given all her blood, sweat, and tears to her work—and yes, most of what was left of her trust fund. So when the play opened to terrible reviews (“A meandering disaster that doesn’t know what it’s trying to be”) and folded in two weeks’ time, she was left with nothing but people to pay and a humiliating professional failure.

  She’d bet on the wrong horse, so to speak. The show had so much promise—she’d been so sure it would be a huge hit. She’d been so wrong.

  Worse, everyone in the theatre world now knew that she was a failure—there was a huge article about it in Backstage magazine. A cautionary tale of sorts.

  “Former Child Star’s Directorial Debut Is This Year’s Worst.”

  At least she could take comfort in the fact that her grandparents didn’t read Backstage.

  She supposed it was the one blessing in GrandPop’s dying when he did. He never found out she’d lost everything with her poor business decisions or her short-lived creative endeavors. He’d never known just how incompetent his granddaughter was, even after years of watching him make millions with his savvy business sense.